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heart-broken at myself.
when will i learn?
instead i teach myself to believe lies.
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i get on facebook and see if there’s a green dot next to your name. and i check every few minutes until it’s not there anymore. g’night.
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i started a book about writing down your goals. and simple act of putting them in writing makes them happen, no matter how inconceivable they seem. who knows if this is legitimate, but someone took time time to write a book about it, so it can’t hurt. following is a list of my goals. some are serious, some are silly. but they’re all real.
- exceed expectations wherever i work
- fall in love for the rest of my life
- move away and live in another country
- lose 20 pounds
- swim 3 miles
- do a pull up
- have a baby by 30
- find my dream job
- see the world
- be an artist
- do the splits
- be disciplined in my devotions
- jump out of a plane
- zip-line through a jungle
- be a good model for my nieces
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so i have this crush. and it feels like high school again. i was attracted to him, but didn’t think about it often. but then someone mentions that we’d be good together. so that gets me thinking. “yeah, he is really cute. and from what little i know of him, it’s obvious he’s a good man”. so my mind escalates in thoughts of this gentleman. i don’t know him well at all. so i create scenes in my head of how that would happen. and how he might want to hold my hand. he even makes several appearances in my dreams. my heart always races just before i see him. i try to be subtle, but still act interested. but this whole time i think to myself “he’s too good for me”. yet here i am thinking about him. writing about him. wishing i knew him…and that he wanted to know me. but alas, i fear i am invisible. or unworthy. high school.
but this is also so refreshing. calming almost. it’s the most innocent i’ve felt in years. and as much as i wish he would say one word to me to give me hope, there’s an inner peace i have. that there is someone out there so good for me. that i can pour my love out to. i don’t know if it’s this one. but i have peace. and i am secure in love.
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i did something i’ve never done before. stayed up till about 1, then my phone died. dang nokia…i really need a new phone.
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advise, encouragement, fun, lessons, fortune cookies?
basically, four years of excellence.
read, take, use.- it’s not all about you
- don’t rain on anyone’s parade
- attitude adjustments will help any situation
- when in doubt, wait
- be nice to wacko’s, God loves them too
- negativity is contageous
- the people we help most, rarely turn out
- first impressions are usually good
- organized people are just too lazy to look for things
- get everything in writing
- never judge a person until you know them well, then keep it to yourself
- my value and worth is not in any guy
- if someone hurts you, don’t hurt them back
- disrespect to your parents is a bothersome thing
- settle matters quickly, or you may carry around heavy burdens
- you are as pretty as your heart
- don’t make statements about things you don’t know anything about
- no good deed will go unpunished
- things can be replaced, people can’t
- after an accident, don’t ask whose fault is was
- don’t act cheap
- ignorance isn’t cool
- the loudest voice is not usually the one you want to follow
- laugh at yourself
- laugh a zoo animals [because they look like your friends]
- never give up
- tell people how much you love them before they’re gone
- pay your credit card bills
- shoot high
- have good breath
- in light of eternity, it’s meatloaf
- life is hard
- God is soveign
- be holy
